Emotional Wreck.....

So today I JUST finalized all my kids papers with the transfers with their new school. After I left the district office, I was told to take the packets to their "temp" school since their neighborhood school was currently full since it was in the middle of the school year. So I was on a quest to find this school.

I finally found it very easily thanks to the map I was given. The school got out at 2:05pm & here I was cluelessly  driving into the school at 1:55pm  during the craziest times, which is pick up time! lol So I waited patiently trying to find a nearby parking. Of course that didn't work, so out the parking lot I went & just parked on the street.

I found my way to the office. I asked if I can meet with their new teachers. Score! They were still there! The lovely school secretary  handed me a post it w their names & the teacher names & room numbers.
First destination: Jonah Room 3 Teacher: Mrs. Kemp. I was greeted by a much older lady than I. Very friendly. I told her a little about my son. We talked for a brief couple minutes & I offered help if she ever needed anything. Next stop was Isaiah's teacher: Mrs. Pederson, room 25. I was greeted by a super smiley outgoing mid-aged woman. I immediately clicked with her. She actually used to live in San Mateo! Her Dad was into racing at the old Bay Meadows! Small world! She was giving me the run down on the schedule for different days, about the classroom & so forth. I immediately offered to volunteer on Thursdays to help fill the envelopes to go home w the kids.

As I'm talking to her about Isaiah, I can just FEEL the TEARS coming.... what the heck is wrong with me??? I think it was THEN that it finally HIT ME that they're gonna start ALL OVER again with making new friends, trying to get the hang of things. In my head I'm thinking, "what have I done? I have taken them away from everything!' I couldn't help but feel so GUILTY & excited, nervous  & all the above...
I'm trying to look away pretending to observe the classroom so I don't let the tears fall...

After we talk & exchanged emails, I made my way back to the car. It was then I felt it stronger... I was literally crying driving home. Trying to put myself in their shoes just thinking of the worst case scenarios that can happen. I make my way home, call my Hubby & again I'm CRYING A RIVER... of course he reassures me that everything is going to be ok. He tells me he's off very soon so he can hold me upon his return. I tell him I will do some laundry to get my mind off it. But no, I'm here typing... lol

I hope & pray that my kids won't be scarred from this transition. I was just thinking since we live on this side of the bay, we might as well transfer schools bc of the 20-30 min commute to & from school. I know everything will turn out just fine. I just need to get out of my San Mateo Bubble & just be open minded. I guess I'm just used to my kids having family at their school. But not this time. It's literally a fresh start!

I'm obviously completely dramatic about everything that has to do w my kids! LOL On the bright side, we do have our OWN place to call HOME.... I just need to buckle down & wear my "big girl" panties & just be excited for them! I can't wait for them to hurry up & adjust to this school already! LOL

OK....I will go & do some laundry now :) Thanks for listening! xo

Baby Blues.... or School....

Everyone around me is having babies :) It's such a sweet sight to see, the newest member of the family getting all the love & attention from their darling older siblings & of course their   Mommy & Daddy. 

It makes me kinda sorta wanna jump on this hype! But of course, I am definitely looking at this "idea" from  EVERY family member's perspective. Do I really wanna start back from square 1 back to sleepless nights, diapers & bottles? But I DO want MORE kids! My kids are WELL OLD enough & I will greatly have PLENTY of help due to their mature ages: 7, 5 & 4. I know. The gap is what is KILLING me!

If this baby comes soon, Micah & him/her will have a whopping 5 year gap! Holy smokes! It went from a 2 year gap to a 1 year gap then to greater than a  4....

I do however miss just having a baby around. All my babies will be in school full time this upcoming school year. So I think I am having withdrawals  from having no kids at home with me. But then again, I can remember myself saying back when my kids were young, 'I can't wait for my kids to be ALL in school so I can have some ME TIME!' But what exactly is ME TIME? Now that I type this up? I mean, schools aren't going anywhere. They just want your money. Jobs are always gonna be there. Volunteer maybe?

Eventually ALL my kids will grow up & leave me one day. By then, I guess THAT can be MY ME TIME... Time for myself to do some fun, educational learning, creating new hobbies ME time.

But why wait? I guess I can do some things part time now & still ENJOY my kids :) I just have a million ideas/thoughts that I still have to consider before I make the next big step. Whether I decide to hold off for another year on having kids, or dive in full head on to school part time to get the ball rolling.

We shall see. I just need to pray, fast & ponder on it I guess. But one thing I know for sure is, I am NOT getting any younger. So TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE.....

I just wish my Mom was here so she can help me in all   my weird/deep decisions as this. Who knows, maybe she would've offered to watch my newborn so I can still go to school so it's still a win/win situation LOL Oh geez I Miss her....It's always great to do wishful thinking when it comes to her, wishing she were here for many reasons..... But that of course is NEVER good enough... That just makes it harder.

I hope I don't sound selfish. Even though I feel like I kinda do. I just want to make sure everything will be ALL GOOD in the end of whatever decision I make.

Seeing Results...

About almost a month ago, I started to get back to jogging every week. Wether it be the full 5 week day or 3 days, 2 days or 1. The point I wanted to make to myself was just to STAY ACTIVE!
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I stopped soda completely for the 1st 2 weeks bc everyone knows my LOVE for this poisonous drink was at an all time high  I cut out sweets as well. I wasn't dieting or doing anything dramatic. But I MADE sure I ate breakfast, lunch & dinner! I also take a diet supplementary pill twice a day w food to help w my cravings so I don't constantly snack on foods when I had just ate already! Lol I stepped up my water intake HUGELY & I'm proud to say that H2O is a natural thing at my house I now have self control when it comes to soda or sweets, my weaknesses  I refrain from buying 12 packs of soda so I don't tempt myself. That goes w sweets too :)

Anyways, before I slept I was just playing around & snapped pictures of my biggest insecurity which is my HUGE midsection!! Lol then I compared the pictures I took almost a month ago & WOW what a huge difference :) well at least I think so 
I have NO IDEA how much I weigh but I try not to make that scale number define who I am. It's just a number. Its more about the feeling good & looking good! And making sure to stay active 
The hard part is to STAY CONSISTENT!!!! For myself that is.....

This is a first time in FOREVER have I ever seen results & I'm so ANXIOUS to jog ALL week this week to see even better results :)

Thank You to those who have been inspiring to me! You know who you are 

Here are my before & after photos :)