It makes me kinda sorta wanna jump on this hype! But of course, I am definitely looking at this "idea" from EVERY family member's perspective. Do I really wanna start back from square 1 back to sleepless nights, diapers & bottles? But I DO want MORE kids! My kids are WELL OLD enough & I will greatly have PLENTY of help due to their mature ages: 7, 5 & 4. I know. The gap is what is KILLING me!
If this baby comes soon, Micah & him/her will have a whopping 5 year gap! Holy smokes! It went from a 2 year gap to a 1 year gap then to greater than a 4....
I do however miss just having a baby around. All my babies will be in school full time this upcoming school year. So I think I am having withdrawals from having no kids at home with me. But then again, I can remember myself saying back when my kids were young, 'I can't wait for my kids to be ALL in school so I can have some ME TIME!' But what exactly is ME TIME? Now that I type this up? I mean, schools aren't going anywhere. They just want your money. Jobs are always gonna be there. Volunteer maybe?
Eventually ALL my kids will grow up & leave me one day. By then, I guess THAT can be MY ME TIME... Time for myself to do some fun, educational learning, creating new hobbies ME time.
But why wait? I guess I can do some things part time now & still ENJOY my kids :) I just have a million ideas/thoughts that I still have to consider before I make the next big step. Whether I decide to hold off for another year on having kids, or dive in full head on to school part time to get the ball rolling.
We shall see. I just need to pray, fast & ponder on it I guess. But one thing I know for sure is, I am NOT getting any younger. So TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE.....
I just wish my Mom was here so she can help me in all my weird/deep decisions as this. Who knows, maybe she would've offered to watch my newborn so I can still go to school so it's still a win/win situation LOL Oh geez I Miss her....It's always great to do wishful thinking when it comes to her, wishing she were here for many reasons..... But that of course is NEVER good enough... That just makes it harder.
I hope I don't sound selfish. Even though I feel like I kinda do. I just want to make sure everything will be ALL GOOD in the end of whatever decision I make.
